I’ll love you forever…

My little guy….what a trooper.

After missing a whole week of school, (after only the second week of the school year)he goes back today.

I hope he does alright. The doctor has him pumped full of so many medications right now, one of which includes Cortisone, that I worry he will be a bit loopy during school.

Or have a relapse.

Or start to feel sad.

Or feel lonely.

Or miss me.

Or……

Does this ever end? Will there ever come a day when I don’t worry about my little guy?

My husband’s mother and her sister, Mary came to see Zach in the hospital the last day we were there. And aunt Mary gave Zach a book.

I knew the book.

This short piece of modern literature never had the same meaning that it does now. It never hit home the way it does now.

It never made me cry a vast ocean of tears the way it does now.

“I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.”

Motherhood…..

The first time that I coaxed my large pregnant belly, I thought of all of the good and all of the rewards that were in store for me.

But the beautiful (and painfully difficult to even think about) circle of life hadn’t even crossed my mind at that point. I was clueless.

I grew up watching that circle on a daily basis with my own parents. I saw the love. I felt the love. It doesn’t end. It goes on.

And today, I am experiencing it with my own children.

At times it has been hard. And at times, it has been absolutely bursting at the seems with ease.

Unfortunately, you find yourself focusing too much on the hard.

But at this moment, all I can do is cherish the now with my children. The love, the pain, the joy and the heartache.

All of it, good or bad, it is ours. It belongs to us.

And it reminds us of what is important in life.

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5 comments on this post.
  1. AmyL:

    What a sweet post Kalurah! Almost makes me want one too. Wait a minute, I said ALMOST! :) I can hardly stand to leave my dogs when I go out of town, I think that I would literally go insane letting my children go to school and sleep overs. You really are one of the best “mommies” that I have ever known. :)

  2. Kalurah's Mom:

    I’m not familiar with this book. I guess I’ll have to read it next time I’m at your house. Isn’t it amazing how you can fall in love with your children over and over as they grow older? You think you could never love someone as much as you do and unconditionally too.
    I’m so pleased that you felt the love that your Dad and I had for each other and for you kids. It’s good to know we were able to convey the love, even through some troublesome teen years. Keep that in mind in about 6 years…oooh, that sounds way too near in the future! Hang in there, you’re doing a great job being a Mom.
    Still love you, Mom

  3. kalurah:

    Amy,
    HA! :)
    And thank you. *blushing*

    Mom,
    I literally CAN. NOT. read even the first page of that book aloud, without choking up. It’s insane!!
    We kids were indeed blessed to have such loving parents. Even through those troublesome teen years, I still knew you two loved me. Unconditionally.
    I love you, too.

  4. Green Girl in Wisconsin:

    he’s so lucky to have you in his corner.

  5. Green Girl in Wisconsin:

    And so relieved that he’s home safe now.